NOTHING BUT THE GEORGE

  Dear Mary Elizabeth     ‘Emi’ Rose—- We waited on your arrival as long as we waited on your Momma and Daddy to name you—it had gotten to the point of hoping you would have a name by the time you start school. Young People like your Parents don’t react as quick as us old folks do. We would have named you 25 times by now.    We had to hang the name of ‘Quatro’ on you for a time before you arrived---you are our 4thgrandchild, you see. But they announced that wonderful name and like you, it was perfect in every way.  It is a beautiful name, but don’t plan on me using it. I will call you something different because I’m crazy that way---3 kids and now 4 grandkids and I have NEVER called any of them by their name unless I had too.  But a little more on this name thing, bear with me— As your Paternal Grandfather , I must insist that you call me George-just cause. I cant abide by Paw Paw, Pee Paw, Peepad, Doo-wop, Doodah, G-Daddy or any of the other Grandpare...

Our Son Joe, along with his  best girl Johnna, are about to become Parents for the first time. “Any day now”, as the saying goes. Actually the due date is today, the 9th of October. Looks like the baby (a girl to be named hopefully before she begins grade school) will overshoot this due date by a few days, but we don’t know since BabygirlFish hasn’t let anyone know yet. Regardless, I found it incumbent upon me, based on lessons gleaned from  my three previous tax deductions (nobody ever told me what to do or how to act during the birthing of babies); to wit—I felt obliged to provide the following advice at no charge: 1. Keep your mouth shut unless you are specifically requested to help/assist by Johnna. Do not speak unless spoken to. Eyes, ears are open and mouth remains closed. Sneezing coughing, loud breathing, humming or the emission of any sounds to include clearing of throat should be performed only in case of in emergency. Compliance is key!  2.   It is normal ...