The Wind ( A Short Story)

(My phone rings- it’s Shugaluvs)

Me: (panicked because she’s calling me from upstairs and I’m in the basement)-

“What’s wrong?!?”

SL: “I need you to get the umbrella the wind got it and it’s flying thru the backyard-HURRY !”

Me: “Where you at can’t you get it?!?”

SL: “YOURE CLOSER!” (Call terminated). 

Satchel, my trusty companion, upon seeing me high tail it for the basement door,  starts to bark. 

The umbrella has released itself from its moorings. Full of wind and aided by gusts from 15-200 mph it has become a kite, dancing upon the footless halls of air with its staff slicing the air like a saber. 

Looking for the right moment to tackle the umbrella and not get my head sliced off, I await until the umbrella is on its side and seize upon it, grabbing the staff as if it were a rattlesnakes head. I had not reckoned with the umbrella itself, nor the wind, as their combined efforts had me holding a chute which was now inside out. Attempts to correct this resulted in facing the wind headlong which righted the umbrella immediately if not sooner so that now I was waging hand to hand combat with the umbrella and the wind. 

Ever faithful, Satchel continued to bark to create the diversion necessary while I find the retraction handle on the staff and begin the rapid counterclockwise action to batten the sail. 

I cranked in the wrong direction, and the wind persisted. 

My ball cap became one with the wind. 

I cranked again, with the fervor of Dorothy clicking her heels to get back home. 

Satchel stopped barking, lifting his head and nose in order to smell out the situation. I returned the umbrella to its anchor, furling and tying the blasted thing accordingly. 

Seeing that I had a grip on the umbrella, Satch went off to pee. 

I recovered my ball cap, and came back inside to await on my next directive. 

Stay tuned for the next exciting installment, Leaking Fish tank at Bedtime! Join us, won’t you?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Know about Birthing Babies…

Our Son Joe, along with his  best girl Johnna, are about to become Parents for the first time. “Any day now”, as the saying goes. Actually the due date is today, the 9th of October. Looks like the baby (a girl to be named hopefully before she begins grade school) will overshoot this due date by a few days, but we don’t know since BabygirlFish hasn’t let anyone know yet. Regardless, I found it incumbent upon me, based on lessons gleaned from  my three previous tax deductions (nobody ever told me what to do or how to act during the birthing of babies); to wit—I felt obliged to provide the following advice at no charge: 1. Keep your mouth shut unless you are specifically requested to help/assist by Johnna. Do not speak unless spoken to. Eyes, ears are open and mouth remains closed. Sneezing coughing, loud breathing, humming or the emission of any sounds to include clearing of throat should be performed only in case of in emergency. Compliance is key!  2.   It is normal ...
Read more

The Colon: Not just for Punctuation

I have thought long and hard about even posting anything. It is a most personal subject, so I will attempt to not get into the bowels of the subject. Here's the thing for us over 50 crowd and if you visit a doctor on a yearly basis. We have all been there. You are scheduled for a procedure. When a medical professional uses the word 'procedure' our instincts tell us to run like hell. Like an automobile, however, tis better to have regular scheduled maintenance than to wait until something breaks, falls off, or explodes. The 'procedure'  to which I refer takes place below the waist. It requires shoving 60 feet of garden hose into a 5 foot space, an area which is normally an exit. There is also a procedure where basically the same thing is done from above the waist, except they use a different hose. (I must tell this joke: Do you know the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? The taste). For the below the belt procedure, the preparation is worse than the ...
Read more

Bicycle Safety

Sitting on the front porch rocker just the other day, when a kid came by riding his bicycle. From my view, he appeared to be wearing a helmet, elbow and knee pads. Then I noticed approximately 20 feet behind him an automobile-- his Momma, obviously the kids wingman, was following behind him in her car with the hazard lights flashing. This explained all the safety gear. Boy, the times sure have changed. We rode our bikes with reckless abandon, as if we had just stolen them; alas, it was our first set of wheels and freedom! The way we did it was like this: First, you had to be dressed accordingly: barefooted, shirtless, and wearing shorts. Ball caps were optional. There were two type of crashes--planned and unplanned. These were the halcyon days of Evel Knievel so there were a lot of deliberate on purpose (planned) bike jumps that resulted in crashes. The unplanned were more severe, because you had less preparation time. Regardless of the type, you end up bleeding from damn near everywh...
Read more