Not the Best Man

Our son Joe is a married man. His wife Johnna, as well as the family he married in to, are some of the most wonderful folks you could ever meet. It takes all of 23.5 seconds to love these folks. They're all 'ate up' in the good looks department, too. Not unlike one of those frames you purchase at the store that already has a picture of a beautiful family under the glass. There ain't one hair out of place on any of them. 

We had a most epic weekend, traveling to Saratoga Springs, New York, for the wedding. While the first day of travel brought on significant challenges, we slayed that dragon with a combination of tact, diplomacy, and possibly a veiled threat to dismember an attendant or two. We haven't been made aware of being added to the no-fly list, so we will see. 

In my capacity as the appointed Best Man (of which I am not), I did make a few remarks and offered a toast. I believe I touched most of the bases, but I will post it here if for no other reason than to let my Son and new Daughter in Love that we love them very much. Additionally, that we are extremely grateful to all the FUSCO family (there's a bunch of em!) for the incredible hospitality. We love them very much and we were really serious about being adopted.

 Here's what I attempted to say:

Let me first start off by saying thank you to the Fusco family for this wonderful event. Thanks especially for having such a beautiful family, especially our new daughter in love, Johnna.

If you are going to end up north of the Mason Dixon line, Saratoga is the place to do it. It’s absolutely beautiful. 

I learned early on to never speak in public without introducing your wife. Ladies and Gentlemen, the reason I awake each morning—my wife Susan, who I have many names for... Wifey, Suzu, Shugaluvs….Warden.

Well since I was conscripted into being the best man, I need to let everyone know that while I consider it an honor and privilege to be best man, I am not the best. I may be in the top 50, though. I am fortunate enough to be Joes dad, though which is reward enough. 

Joe has a collection of lifelong friends —they were all kids and grew up together. They are accordingly, thick as thieves. Collectively, in my opinion THOSE are his best men.

Now about Joe—- His mom has always called him Joey. BUT his name---is Joe. (And he works in a button factory…)

In July 2005 it just so happens we were over in Cooperstown visiting the baseball HOF ---both of us about to throw up because I was a few days from leaving for Iraq—I can say that TODAY is a much better day than then.

Joe is a good son. He’s a good man and he loves and adores his WIFE and EMI. He loves his friends and family.

And Johnna... Lord have mercy! When Joe and she first started dating, Joe kept his business to himself. This drove his sisters and his Mom to torment. I’m not saying they’re nosey or anything—but they’re nosey.

At any rate, dear old Dad was the first one to find out about Johnna—I received a text of a photo of Johnna with the introduction "here’s your future daughter in law."

Joes' sisters, who normally had performed deep dive forensics on any girl Joe had so much had been friends with, were silent. They absolutely fell in love with Johnna right out of the gate. (Pardon the horse racing analogy, I know that’s tomorrow). 

The fact is we all were smitten with Johnna. He didn’t just find a girl he can live with—he found one he can’t live without.

Joe and Johnna together are a great team. Ray Charles can see that. And EMI ROSE makes them what is the greatest thing in the world---a FAMILY.

I’ve also proposed a toast on a few occasions, but mostly around hellions associated with my military career. I toasted to Drink, Debauchery, and the proliferation of profanity as an acceptable language—-not to mention other acts of barbarianism—

I don’t think I will use that one today but will use this one instead:

 To our newlyweds-- Joe and Johnna Fisher on the occasion of your wedding—may love, laughter and contentment fill up every space in your hearts—in every breath and blink of your eye—that you hold on tight to each other thru every joy and bump in the road, and that 30 years from now you can look back on this day and say that you loved each other --the LEAST.